Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ignore the fools.


(Picture from CK Hon)

Question:(Unedited)

I'm 16, from sweden and attend gymnasium at the first year.
I'll just get straight to the point. I have a problem my friends keep saying things like you suck, or please commit suicide to me. I don't think they meen it but it really is hard hearing them say such things everyday. this is generally normal for friends in sweden schools, to say downrating things to your friends.
It's not long since I've started reading about buddhism and I've found that it really helped making everyday easier in several ways.
But now that winter holidays is over I just can't take advantage of buddhism in everydaylife (because it's in school). I try to think of making people around me happy, gladly sharing my thoughts with those who ask my oppinon.
I don't ever say go and die to my friends but still they treat me the way they do.
Actually today they said in a math class that I sucked because I tried to work while they were chatting loudly with eachother.
Our teacher don't care much if people talk or work in her classes so she don't tell them to be quiet.
I can't concentrate in classes due to them taling and I can't be happy if they keep harassing me.
I can't figure out what to do, and I thought that your expertise was really fitting for this problem.
This is a practical problem. And I want to live in peace with my selfe and my friends.
I'm wery new at buddhism and are currently reading a lot of ebooks and trying to change my lifestyle to the buddhist way, if you give me a buddhist answare on this question it would really help me become more buddhist in my opinion


My comment:

Hi L,

Thank you for asking me.

The problem with this world is that people are behaving wrongly, due to their ignorance of the true nature of this world. Most people especially around your age are very sensitive to peer pressure and social dictates. There is this herd mentality to follow the crowd because it is the "in thing" and the "accepted norm" to behave like "the others". Otherwise, the person may be ostracized and be called names. Just like in your case. You are a very special person at your age to realize that what your friends are behaving is unskilful, and foolish. Not everyone can realize this, especially when the "social norm" is to behave the way you have described. Having estabished the reason(s) of your friends' behaviour, you can now understand why they are treating you differently. Knowing this reason, you can now empathize with their wrong behaviour, and to forgive their foolish remarks.

You have the intelligence to understand what is wholesome behaviour, which will lead to wholesome results. By following through this skilful living, you will be free from a lot of problems and troubles in the future. Continue to follow through the wholesome teachings of the Buddha and along the way you will meet friends with similar values and virtues. In no time, others will see the positive side of your personality, and will want to follow your ways. Think of the happiness you would have to be able to influence others to lead a wise and respectable life. Even if others do not follow your way, you still gain the benefits for yourself.

Patience and perseverance will see you through. Have the confidence that when you practise the Dhamma (the universal truths as taught by the Buddha) these truths will protect you. This is the confidence that all Buddhists have. When we tread the correct path; this path will lead us to peace and happiness.

Please come back if I am of any help to provide you with the moral support.

The Buddha encouraged us to strive on with diligence, even in the face of adversity. Have courage, and continue with your wholesome behaviour.







1 comment:

PM said...

This is in reality a big problem in our society today of mixing with the wrong companies. Our young ones must be taught how to differentiate between what is good and wrong.

Parents play a major role and daily interaction with the child is important when they return from schools.

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