Picture from my blogger friend
I'll go straight to my question : How to control the anger and hatred that have arisen in your mind especially when at the same time continuously faced with daily difficulties, problems and being burdened with duties as daughter, wife, mother (plus all household chores)? I failed miserably and now even cannot do the short chanting and meditation, and not to mention cultivating the loving-kindness and compassion seems to be a heavy / terrible tasks. Everything seems hopeless.
I know that certain problems are due to my past bad karma (vipaka) but I seem unable to overcome and the incidents keep on repeating itself and I am burning away my good karma with all these anger and hatred. Please show me the ways on how to supress the anger and hatred beside meditation and being mindful. I am totally lost. Thanks a million for your advices.
I hope with my remaining good karma I will be able to receive and practise what I should do as a buddhist.
May the Blessings of the Holy Triple Gems be with you and all living beings inclusive of me.
Thank you for asking me.
We cannot control things. The Buddha's advice was for us to accept things that we cannot change. We must realize that our lives are generally beset with worldly problems. This was the message of the Buddha, that life is Dukkha, which means "difficult to bear". If we try to fight against these things that are difficult to bear, we will suffer further. It's just like a person struggling in the water; the more he struggles, the deeper he sinks. We must learn how to swim in the water in order to float. There is nothing we can do with the water, but to accept it and learn how to float and swim in it. The skilful surfer rides the waves. He does not fight against the waves.
We have to accept this Dukkha and skilfully surf with it. Forget about chanting, meditating, and radiating loving-kindness. Realize that the problems that you are facing are very real. Then reflect on the effects that you are now going through. You would realize that your mind is a torture chamber. You are reacting to all the real troubles in your life. Reacting in a negative way. Believe me, you are not alone in this predicament. There is no magic formula to rid off our worldly problems. However, the Buddha had provided us a technique to ride the waves of sorrow. Only you will know how you feel right now. If you think you would prefer to experience less agony in your mind, then follow the advice of the Buddha. See these problems as very real problems. Realize that your negative and confrontational reactions are of no help but aggravating your agony. Simply step back, acknowledge this reality of worldly problems, then take gradual steps to follow through these problems. Do things that need to be done. Do your best and take a rest. You will feel your mental burden being reduced and you will have more peace in yourself.
You can also forget about your past bad kamma. Take charge of your life right now. Imagine what you would find in a rubbish bin....maggots, cockroaches, rats, ants, flies and the stench; and hovering above the disgusting crows waiting for the opportune time to dive in for the kill. Look on a brighter side; turn this rubbish into a compost heap, mix it with clean soil, and make a garden out of it. Plant flower and fruit seeds in it and with tender loving care, sufficient watering, and constant weeding, the seeds will germinate and grow into flowering plants. Beautiful butterflies, chirping birds, and honey bees happily surround the garden. Beautiful flowers bloom and sweet and juicy fruits tempt our senses. What a bountiful harvest!
We must change our mind-set. Clean up the rubbish in our mind. Replace it with the beautiful garden. Our mind will be bright and strong. Happy and positive events will follow through, and we can live in peace with confidence.