You are better than me.

Question : (Unedited)
Hello Justinchoo,

I am an avid reader of expert Buddhism and my interest in Buddhism started quite recently. I think its great religion / philosphy. And the answers of Buddhism expert are always helpful.

Buddha taught that we should be compassionate and tolerent of other people. Hatred and violence are not solutions to any problem.

Today I was angry/livid at a situation at the beginning. I did have some violent thoughts (thinking of shouting or hitting the guilty one). After calming down (I dont know how I achieved it), I acted out of practicality and calmness.

Find a solution, instead of dwelling on blame.

Do I break a rule in Buddism when I become angry or livid? Not lasting angry or hatred, but angry at that moment?

Thanks in advance

SS

My comment:

Hi SS,

Thank you for asking me.

You have done better than me! It is very easy to philosophize about compassion, patience, tolerance and kindness. But when we come face to face with realities it's a very different cup of tea, so to say. Different people have different thresholds of personality traits. Some are by nature very patient, while others are always hot tempered. I am of the opinion that a big percentage of our personality traits come from our past lives. It is very difficult to change our personality traits.

However, all is not lost. By following the teachings of the Buddha and meditation, one can improve one's character. The first battle is won once a person realizes his shortcomings and decides to overcome them. He will still continue to make the same mistakes but each time it happens, he realizes and takes step to check it. If it is too late, then he will feel remorse and will try again to do better come the next time. Over time, there sure will be an improvement. I am speaking from my own experience. And I still make the same stupid mistakes when I react without mindfulness.

When we make a mistake, we do not actually break any rule in Buddhism, for the Buddha did not impose any rule upon us. His warning was that if we break a universal rule, we open ourselves to problems and difficulties. As such we must cultivate good habits so that we can conduct our lives in a dignified and harmless manner. This is what we call skilful living.